Budgie Sitting
by Crazy Gal
Summary: It's hopefully a lot better than my other one. More lika a normal episode. Please r&r, dont flame.


Budgie-Sitting

  
I apologise for my awful story, "Don't leave me." I will try and make it up to you with this, "I hope it will be funny" fic. Don't flame plz!

  


  
Monica: Do you know what we haven't done in ages?   
Chandler: Two years ago I would have known, but now I'm not sure...what haven't we done in ages?   
Monica: We haven't gone to visit my mom.   
Chandler: You mean my in-laws?   
Phoebe: What's so wrong with that?   
Chandler: NO guy likes his in-laws! Don't you know that?   
Monica: Oh please Chandler. I haven't seen Dad in ages. Last time we went to visit he was ill...and the time before that...and the time before that...    
Monica: Oh! They don't like you.   
Chandler: And the smart blue-eyed lady wins 100 points!   
Monica: But why don't they like you?   
Chandler: Well...umm...   
Joey: He killed their budgie.   
Chandler: Joey!!! 

**OPENING SONG**

  


  
Monica: Yes mom...no mom...he's very sorry...yeah okay.   
Chandler: What?   
Monica: She wants to speak to you.   
Chandler: Uh oh, I'm in big trouble aren't I?   
Monica: No, they want to ask you a favour.    
Ross: Monica, what's the difference between icing sugar and castor sugar?   
Monica: You can make icing with icing sugar.   
Ross: And what about castor?   
Rachel: You can't.   
Ross: Oh.    
Joey: Look Phoebe!    
Phoebe: What?   
Joey: Look, I reach for the saucepan...but I can't reach it from where I'm standing and...look...it grows a huge handle!   
Phoebe: Joey, I've seen it a million times before.   
Chandler: Yes...ok...bye.    
Chandler: They want me to look after their new budgie!   
Monica: What? You'll kill that too!   
Chandler: It's to prove that I am capable of looking after a pet.   
Monica: How long for?   
Chandler: A week.   
Monica: The poor thing won't survive a day!   
Chandler: Thanks for the faithfulness Mon.   
Monica: No problem. Now, where are we going to keep it?    
Chandler: Outside!   
Joey: No way! The bird will die!   
Monica: For once, he's right, and cleverer than you are. You can't put a bird outside! And especially not in winter.   
Chandler: You see loads of birds flying around outside!   
Monica: They're wild. Do you see any budgies flying around outside?   
Chandler: Well...no...   
Monica: Well then.

  


  
Monica: Chandler!   
Chandler: Sorry. You can catch it, right?   
Monica: I hope so. How did you kill the last one anyway?   
Chandler: Well, from where I was standing, it looked like a toy, and I quickly picked it up and...well...   
Monica: What?   
Chandler: I flung it against the wall.   
Monica: What?   
Chandler: I realised it was a budgie when it gave a pathetic squawk. Budgies shouldn't be allowed to fly round peoples houses!    
Monica: Poor Barney.   
Chandler: Barney?   
Monica: Don't you even know what her name is?   
Chandler: Her?   
Monica: Yes-Barney is a female budgie.   
Chandler: Barney isn't a female name.   
Monica: Chandler isn't a female name either.    
Chandler: You can't say that, Phoebe's already used it.   
Monica: When?   
Chandler: With the triplets.   
Monica: It wasn't exactly that...never mind. Let's just work on getting Barney happy.    
Chandler: Now, where do you want to go tonight?   
Monica: Oh, you're taking me out?   
Chandler: Yeah-the budgie will be ok won't she?   
Monica: Yeah. I want to go to that new Indian place.   
Chandler: Your wish is my command, oh beautiful one.   
Monica: Yeah, don't do the genie thing.   
Chandler: OK. Let's go!

  
  
Monica: Thanks for the meal.   
Chandler: That's ok. Good thing we didn't have stuffed budgie, huh?   
Monica: Yeah. Poor thing, not able to share a bit of the dinner.   
Chandler: She's not whistling.   
Monica: She's probably asleep. Don't disturb her. The sheet is over her cage. Let's just go to bed after we've had this coffee.   
Chandler: OK. Shh! 

  
  
Monica: Why haven't you taken the cover off yet?   
Chandler: Sorry, I forgot.   
Monica: Has she been whistling?   
Chandler: I don't think...oh my god.    
Monica: Oh no!   
Chandler: Where is she?    
Rachel: Hi guys. OK?   
Monica: No. Our budgie has escaped-and there's no way she could have done. Look! The gate's closed.   
Chandler: Well, it's a mystery then.   
Ross: No, I think I know what's happened...Monica, take us all to dad's house.   
Monica: Why?   
Ross: I have a feeling that this is a trick. I ahve a feeling that he took the bird. Did he know you were going out?   
Monica: Yeah, I rang him and told him that the budgie would be okay...no!   
Ross: Yes.   
Rachel: What?   
Chandler: What?   
Monica: Ross, we'll explain it to them on the way.

  
**CREDITS**

  
  
Joey: Hey Phoebe.   
Phoebe: Hey Joe. Where are the others?   
Joey: On some wild budgie chase.   
Phoebe: Oh cool! I wish they'd told me. I love budgies.   
Joey: Yeah, they're so pretty aren't they?   
Phoebe: Joey...   
Joey: Phoebe...   
Phoebe: Don't do that. Joe, do you want to go out tonight?   
Joey: Yeah, hang on a tick.   
  
Joey: Hi Jack? They're onto it. I've got the budgie, safe in my house...yeah...hahaha...don't tell them! Chandler will kill me! Yeah, bye.   


  
Did that sound more like a normal Friends episode? Or did it make you wish you'd never been born because it was so awful, instead of a soppy love thing? (I'm not dissing them, they're great.) Look out for Chapter Two. 


End file.
